I have discovered why losing weight

I have discovered why losing weight when you are older is so difficult. The fat and your body have become such good friends that they don't want to be separated.

Don't lend money to people

Don't lend money to people it gives them amnesia.

I have lost my mind

I have lost my mind and i am not making any effort to look for it because it's more peaceful without it.

Have you ever had one ...?

Have you ever had one of those how did i get here moments?

Just sold my halo

Just sold my halo to cash converters. Well i wasn't using it, was i???

I didn't change..

I didn't change...You just didn't know me in the first place...

If one door closes and one opens

If one door closes and one opens, seek help your house is haunted.