Tricking The Police.

This is the true story of Glen Reem of Meridian, Mississippi. Glen was going to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the shed. Glen went to go turn off the light but saw there were some people in the shed in the process of a robbery.

He quickly called the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and Glen said no and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there as soon as possible.

Glen said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and called the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them all."

Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance arrived.The police caught the burglars red-handed. 

One of the policemen said to Glen: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

Glen said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

A Puzzled Blonde

A blonde girl decides to do a puzzle so she gets the puzzle and throws out all the pieces and tries to put it together.

After trying for more then an hour, she gets frustrated and calls her boyfriend...

Her boyfriend says: Honey what's wrong

The Blonde says: I've been trying to put this puzzle together but I can't do it.

Her boyfriend says: Well look at the picture in the front and tell me what it looks like.

The blonde says: Okay... well the background is blue and there is a tiger on it.

Her boyfriend says: Honey... put the cornflakes back in the box.

Where To Park?

One winter morning while listening to the radio, Bob and his wife hear the announcer say, “We are going to have 4-6 inches of snow today.

You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snow plough can get through.”

Bob’s wife goes out and moves her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio

announcer says, “We are expecting 6-8 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snow plough can get through.”

Bob’s wife goes out and moves her car again.

The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park…” then the electric power goes out.

Bob’s wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, “Honey, I don’t know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plough can get through?”

With the love and understanding in his voice like all men who are married to blondes exhibit, Bob says, “Why don’t you just leave it in the garage this time?”

I Want To Be A Bear

If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months.

I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid.

I could deal with that, too.

If you're a bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs.

I could definitely deal with that.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too.

I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yes..... I want to be a bear.

My Home Made Name Tag

I could recall years back during my first day in 5th grade. I was a new student then, having transferred to an exclusive school for boys. Life was financially difficult for my parents having transferred me to a school with a higher tuition fee. 

At school, we were required to wear a short-sleeve white polo uniform with the school's insignia on its upper left pocket that could be you could buy in the campus. On the top pocket should be worn a name tag to best identify each student.  To cut any expenses, Mom decided to stitch and sew the tag herself.

"This would do?" she asked.
"Umm yeah Mom". I was a bit hesitant wearing it. 

At school, boys stared teasingly at the tag.
"Who did such crooked job?", one shouted.
And another remarked "How odd. Well it caught our attention".

I knew it. Initially, I tried to cover it and detach it. But eventually it dawned on me that it didn't matter if it was different from others who wore the customized tags. I realized it should not stop me from doing my best regardless of our differences in culture or economic class or status. What is true is that Mom painstakingly made it possible to give the best for me. I should be proud of it. And I did, I wore this badge for the rest of the school year.

Moral of the story is, you were born to be different so why be like everybody else when you can do your best.

To Give or Not To Give?

At last a perfect day to enjoy a day after receiving a month's pay.
As soon as I woke up, I browsed over a buy and sell magazine.
I wanted to buy so many things. Perhaps this time I'd get a new add on
to my already crowded room or a new gadget I have desired upon seeing it on a commercial break on TV. Though, I really wasn't sure what I really wanted when the door bell suddenly rang.

I went to open it thinking it must be some salesman with goods to offer.
Upon pulling the hard wooden door, I was surprised to see an old man.
"What is this all about?
"Good day, sir. If you will kindly help me...
I believed it must be some folk acting up. But I continued to listen.
"Please sir...My young girl's sick with pneumonia we need to bring her to the hospital for treatment. We don't have anything. I could mow your lawn for some money?"
With that tone on his voice, I could hear a sincere and urgent plea.

I reasoned everything out before giving him anything. I believed everyone should strive harder and extremely harder until one gets to find the way to ease his life.
But of course it wasn't my case. The opportunities were there to facilitate in bringing out the best in me. My parents ascertained I got a good college degree and I were given the right tools when I needed these.

I figured out that life was just unfair to them. But I could help reduce the weight of their burden if I could share some blessing and if everyone else would do the same.

Without further reasoning out, and not letting my mind control my heart further, I dashed upstairs to get my wallet and pick some bills to share to this man. I wasn't in the mood anyway to purchase another clutter that will satisfy me for just a moment.

And so i gave...

A Bunch of Tiny Frogs

There once was a bunch of tiny frogs who arranged a running competition. The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower. A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants.

The race began.

No one in crowd could believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower. They were saying amongst themselves:

"Oh, it way too difficult!!"

"They will never make it to the top".

"No way that they will succeed. The tower is too high!"

The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one, except for those who in the shade were climbing higher and higher.

The crowd continued to yell

"It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!"

More tiny frogs got tired and gave up.

But one continued higher and higher and higher.

This one wouldn't give up!

At the end, all the other frogs had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who, after a some time, was the only one who reached the top!

Then all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it?

A contestant asked the tiny frog how the one who succeeded had found the strength to reach the goal?

It turned out and it just so happened that he was deaf.

Enjoy Your Coffee

A group English Professor's got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. 

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and came back with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive and some exquisite.

"Please help yourself." said the Professor 

When all they all had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: 

"If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken first, leaving behind the cheaper looking ones. It is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. 

Remember that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. It is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drinking. 

You all just wanted the coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups... And then you began looking at each other's cups. 

Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of Life we live. 

Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee that has been provided." 

Enjoy your coffee!