Laughing at your own mistakes can lengthen your life. Laughing at your wife's mistakes can shorten your life.
She is not clumsy, she's just uniquely coordinated.
I never would have fought those naps when i was 3 had i known how much i need them now.
I'm not crazy. I'm just too psychologically advanced for you to understand.
The biggest lie i tell myself is, "I don't need to write that down, i'll remember it."
Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream...and while you are here would you do the dishes, fold the laundry and stop my husband from snoring?
When i said i wanted to live life in the fast lane, i didn't mean the one with oncoming traffic.
